Insight for Smart Living

Some time last year, France’s famous high-speed train, the TGV, showcased it’s high velocity in front of thousands of it’s own citizens and millions of TV watchers worldwide. Clocking up to 357 mph, the train created sparks on the rails as it blew dust on onlookers and astounded a captive global audience. Train driver Eric Pieczac said later on, “I’m delighted. It’s a mixed feeling of honor and pride to have been able to reach this speed.” His delight is understandable. We have come a long way from the 16th Century wagons that were drawn by single horses on wooden rails. We now have double-decker, powerful engines totalling up to 25,000 horse-power speeding across huge countries in short time! That’s major progress compared to the wagonways, tramways and steam engines that shaped the early days of locomotion. 

However, before we start celebrating the “savior-faire” of French achievement and start wearing T-shirts with the words ”French Excellence” printed on the back, I want us to consider the implications of this. Society today is consumed with the idea of speed. All we want is the next fastest thing. We want “instant” information, “high-speed” internet, “fast” food, “rapid” results, “immediate” action, “accelerated” education, “expedited” mail, “supersonic” jets, “swift” change, even “quick” sex. What happened to slowness? The leisurely, sluggish and unhurried are branded names while the fast and quick is celebrated.

Melting Glaciers and the Future of Slow 

Along with the Maglev of Japan, the world’s fastest train, which doesn’t even run on tracks but floats over a guideway in a magnetic field without touching the tracks, the TGV is a landmark of man’s progress. In this quest for faster and better, is there any future for slowness? What price are we paying in our quest for speed? It is reflected all over our society - on college campuses where students are running from class to class then to workplaces, in the corporate world where everyone’s favorite book is Business @ The Speed of Thought and in homes where fast-paced living has become the norm. 

Slow should become the new fast. I was born and brought up in Africa where slow is the norm. No one has mastered the art of living slow like the people in my rural village on the shores of Lake Victoria in Western Kenya. Life is luxury for them. Their motto is “Hurry, hurry, has no blessing”. When I came to the United States in August 2001, I was astounded at the pace of life. I remember going to a grocery store during my first week when I was not yet familiar with the currency. I had a ton of coins and bills which I pulled out of my pocket and started counting slowly in front of the clerk. His look, and that of the customers behind me, could have melted a glacier! But the truth is that our fast-paced life is melting glaciers in real life. The industrial revolution, in it’s quest for better and faster, has hastened the melting of glaciers immensely.

Embrace Your Inner Snail

Given all this, what is the future of mankind? We have a choice for high velocity or slowness. My position is that slow is cool. We all need to apply the brakes. Stress levels are rising because of the speed at which we drive our lives. Human contact has become fleeting, at best. We don’t connect any more because we are rushing for the next event. It’s time to embrace our “inner snail”. The inner snail’s motto is this: “slow and steady wins the race”. Let’s send more letters than emails, ride more bikes than drive cars, use the crock-pot rather than the microwave, visit friends and chat instead of sending text messages and make love with the person that we have chosen to take the time to slowly get to know instead of have rapid quickies.

After experiencing the fast pace of life in the US, I went back home (where the people have mastered the art of slow living) to visit in 2005. I had an opportunity to embrace my inner snail when I went to a local internet-cafe to check my email. It took me longer to open the internet and load the pages than it would have taken me to open a letter and read it. While this may be an indication of backwardness of Kenyan technology, for me it is a celebration of slowness. I had to learn the wisdom of taking a newspaper with me to the cyber-cafe and reading it as I waited for the pages to load. Oh the beauty of slow living! Slow should become the new fast. Commit to a slower 2008! (and really enjoy the slowness!).

After many years of research being done and business books being written, the jury is out on the idea of personal and organizational vision: people and companies must have a vision. Over the past two or three decades many different individuals and companies have done a lot in terms of developing their vision/mission statements along with core values that guide them towards that vision. Go to any personal or company website and nine out of ten times you will find some form of a mission statement, vision statement, guiding philosophy or core values.

While it is commendable that many individuals and organizations have a vision to justify their existence, it is worth noting that most of these visions are short-range in nature. The vision enables them to get on track with their plans but it is not sufficient enough to take them into the future. Let me use the analogy of a train going through a tunnel. Physical vision (along with the train’s lights) enables the train operator or engine driver to see as he goes through the tunnel. An experienced driver, however, has the mental vision that enables him to see beyond the tunnel. I would also venture to use an example from the nation of South Africa. Nelson Mandela had the vision to take the people out of apartheid. Thabo Mbeki had the vision to take the country into reconciliation and a future of mutual existence. Actually, Mandela did initiate the reconciliation but it took Mbeki’s leadership to sustain it beyond the euphoria of excitement.

Here are some thoughts on how long-range vision can transform you and your business:

1. Provides a focus beyond “tomorrow”

Vision is great because it provides you with a general strategy for handling tomorrow. Beyond tomorrow though, you need to be able to handle “the future”. Tomorrow belongs to those organizations that have a vision of what is coming ahead. The future belongs to those organizations that can shape what is coming. We see what’s ahead through vision; but we shape what’s coming through long-range perspective.  

2. Ensures the continuity of the group or organization

Vision gives power to an organization’s mission. Long-range vision, on the other hand, breathes life into the organization’s mission. Any organization can make it a couple of years but it takes long-range thinking to survive a future that threatens the very life of organizations. Vision can sometimes guide an organization to it’s level of incompetence. The Swiss watch making companies for example, were overtaken by Japanese digital watch companies because they did not have long-range vision. They had vision, yes, but that alone could not take them into the future.  

3. Envisions potential pitfalls and their solutions 

Henry Ford is noted for saying that the masses could have any car they wanted so long as it was black in color. Ford had great vision for the automobile industry but he could not see beyond the tunnel. He could clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel but little did he know that it was the headlight of an on-coming train. Now, he had experience and should have been able to see beyond the tunnel. However, he didn’t. If organizations are going to make it into the future, they must have long-range vision, rather than just “a vision of tomorrow”. They must be on the cutting-edge of shaping the direction in which society is going rather than putting themselves in a place where they will have to play catch-up.

How’s you doing? How about your organization? Do you have a long-range vision?

This being the last day of the year, I thought I should inspire you with a vision for 2008: It’s going to be a marvelous year! I can see it. I can feel it. I personally sense new purpose breaking forth that will spill over into every area of my life. I hope that you are also experiencing the same. Life is so designed that we have periods of newness that allow us to expand ourselves in many different ways. Every day is a new day. Every month is a new month. The new period allows us to begin afresh and put aside the happenings of the previous period. As we inch into 2008, we have an opportunity to extend our destinies to another level as we build a legacy for future generations.There are three crucial keys that will allow us to experience the newness that the new year offer us. I’d like to share these in anticipation of the fact that many people will be making new year’s resolutions again. Enjoying newness comes in three steps. We need to be able to conceptualize, then visualize and finally materialize the newness.

Conceptualize

This begins with vision. One might even say the need to have a dream to pursue. It takes a lot of optimism to conceptualize a future that is yet to made manifest. The key is to really believe that you can make it happen and you have all the resources to pursue that which you desire. Conceptualizing means birthing ideas of what’s possible. This is crucial.

Visualize

Beyond conceiving the dream, you need to be able to see yourself walking in it’s fulness. To visualize is simply to form mental pictures or images of something. It simply means imagining yourself being, doing and having that which you are dreaming of. It’s using the power of perception to transform what you have conceptualized into a vision of possibility.

Materialize

Dreams and visions reach their full term when they are materialized. Nothing is more rewarding than seeing your ideas go from concept to reality. As you pursue newness in 2008, your goal is to do just that - transform ideas into powerful results. Embrace newness and bring fresh results into every area of your life. 2008 is going to be an awesome year!

Every couple of days I get the privilege of speaking to kids at a local middle school. I volunteer as a character coach and visit local schools once a week to empower kids with ideas that can make them better citizens and winners in life. For the most part, the kids usually do very well, except for a few who normally seem to be in their own world.While it’s easy to pass judgement on kids for not listening, it’s also true that adults do the same thing. This can easily be seen in many of our corporations, families and places of public gathering. Listening is perhaps one of the most basic social skills but few people take the time to master the process of listening. One wag once joked that ‘we are given two ears and one mouth so that we can listen more and talk less’. Today, I’d like to look at the art of listening by way of an acrostic of the word LISTEN. 

How to Increase Your Listen-Ability Skills

One of the most painful things for a speaker is the realization no one is listening until when the speaker makes a mistake. The joy of conversation (or public speaking) is usually crucified by the luxury of half-listeners. Regaining the art of listening necessiates an ability to LISTEN. Here’s how:

Look at the speaker and focus on her words - This might seem as a very simple and easy thing to do but it’s among the top, most challenging skills for many people. Last week I was talking to a friend at the Global Center in downtown Cincinnati and she told me that she has always had a hard time looking at people during conversation. This is someone who works at a place where she rubs shoulders with dignitaries from all over the world! Some people choose to look over the speaker’s head. Eye-contact is essential to communicate a listening attitude.  

Indicate understanding by nodding affirmatively - I once mentored a teenager who had a huge problem with accepting my ideas. This was a really nice young man who had been brought up on the north side of Omaha in Nebraska. What I noticed with him was that, as adults approached him to speak with him, he would immediately go into a mode in which he would shake his head from side to side and look down at his feet. After lots of coaching sessions, he began nodding positively and that created a lot of room for him to start accepting my feedback.

Spot any distracters and put them out of your mind - We live in a society in which so much demands our attention. I’ve been in meetings where, all of a sudden, I’ve noticed my mind drifting away to other things that I’d rather be doing (well, some of the time the content - or was it the speaker? - may have been boring.) But really, that’s no reason to zone-out a speaker and go to lala land (lala is a Swahili word for sleep). When this happens we must consciously choose to put any distracting thoughts completely out of our minds. That’s the key to concentration, the glue of listening. 

Try not to think of what you are going to say next - My wife has a great illustration she normally uses when coaching people on their listening skills. She talks about this funny commercial in which there’s a lady being spoken to. During the entire time she is eating Doritos and has zoned out the speaker. This has been a huge area of personal growth for me in my marriage. I thought I had learnt all I needed about it from my mom only to find that I was still raw on this habit after I got married. Nowadays I have learnt to gain power over my thoughts and focus on the speaker, thanks to the two most important women in my my life.  

Engage actively by participating on your turn - The art of listening goes hand in hand with demonstrating an understanding of the spoken word. Active engagement might mean responding in a concise manner or taking notes that enhance your grasp of the content. Listening is not a one-sided activity. It’s dialogue. As you engage in dialogue, you need to be able to monitor your internal conversations. Internal conversation should be focused on the speaker, not on what you are going to say next. Healthy listening skills come from being able to enage with the speaker. It’s about connectedness that comes from each party’s ability to play their roles effectively.

Note key points and make it a point to remember them - Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, talks about an “Indian talking stick” that was given to him by Indian chiefs. According to Indian culture, listeners were not permitted to say anything until the speaker passed the talking stick to them. The talking stick was never passed around until the speaker felt completely understood. What a beautiful way to communicate the sacredness of listening! Actually, here’s a link to the video where Stephen Cover talks about the Indian Talking Stick. It’s a great concept worth grasping fully.

Let’s regain the art of listening. Better listening not only enhances your knowledge of the topic but also communicates respect to the speaker. The key to being a great listener is to LISTEN. As my mother used to say, “Listening is one thing; hearing is another”. Let’s listen to hear.

Murphy’s Law states that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst time possible. There have been many occasions in my life when Murphy has slammed my door and forced his way into my life without giving me any notice. A whole lot of things have gone wrong at those times. My experience with Murphy has prompted me to develop a strategy for keeping him from messing me up ever again. Here’s my three-pronged strategy for dealing with Murphy next time he shows up. I call it the ABC’s of dealing with Murphy:

1. Anticipate what might go wrong

When Murphy has struck at me in the past, it has always been in situations when I did not see it coming. My game plan now is to anticipate what might go wrong so that when it does go wrong, I can deal with it effectively.

2. Bring yourself to a state of calmness

Murphy has always left me in a panic because of the element of surprise. The key to winning over Murphy’s law is to always stay in a state of calmness. I have seen people who may be going through the worst times of their lives but they don’t show it. Such people always come out as winners. 

3. Create systems that allow for success

Success in any endeavor is all about having the right systems. Every so often, I try to look at all the systems I have in place in different areas of my life. My objective is to ensure that my systems allow me to have the most success possible. 

The key to staying motivated towards achieving our goals is the inspiration that comes from the stories we encounter on a daily basis. Learning to listen to the good, powerful and life-changing stories that life offers us enables us to soar above mediocrity and live life at a higher level. Our purpose is clarified and our power is harnessed when we share in positive, life-changing stories.We are used to listening to the stories of people involved in crime and negative things in the news media. I think it is essential to turn off the negative news and start finding the positive things that are being done in society and highlighting them. I am usually greatly inspired to continue working in my community when I read positive stories of people making a difference in their communities.

We get inspired so that we can aspire to higher ideals. Our aspirations provide us with the motivation that we need to stay focused. Being inspired therefore, is foundational to our personal growth and development. I look at and define myself as an inspirational teacher. My stories inspire people so that they can find the motivation to do what they need to do. Motivation may provide people with information that generates good feelings within them but inspiration sparks a fire within them that they can act upon. 

We have been told many times in the past that “If you build it, they will come”. This line was popularized by a movie, Field of Dreams, I believe. While this was a great line for many years, it proves to be insufficient for today’s world. Today’s world demands that whatever you build must provide value. Value is measured by the contribution that your idea brings to the table. The line that works in our world today, as opposed to the world of Field of Dreams, is this: “If you build it and it provides value, they will come.”

Let’s talk about value then: the value that you and I bring to the table. I know and feel that, as conscientious individuals, you and I absolutely love what we do. Just like you, I wake up every morning and I want to give my absolute best in whatever I do throughout the day. Some people will say that most people don’t have a passion for what they do. They do just enough to keep from getting fired because they are being paid just enough to keep from quitting. I hope that’s not your situation because I want you to embrace the idea of providing maximum value on a daily basis. When you embrace such an attitude, your life gains immense purpose and power. Elevate your life, give maximum value on a daily basis. 

When I was a kid my dad bought me a couple of magnifying glasses of varied colors. I enjoyed playing with the glasses and feeling like a serious detective as I roamed in and out of the house looking for clues to mysteries that I created in my overactive imagination. Perhaps the greatest power of those glasses, I came to discover, was that when I held them over a piece of newspaper and allowed the sun’s rays to stream through, pretty soon I would have a fire (I was a little older and understood the need for safety). We lived directly under the equator and the sun was always hot and directly above us for most of the day. However, it’s rays never burnt anything until when they were brought to a point of focus.

While bringing those rays to a point of focus might seem like reducing the sun’s power, it actually increased it’s intensity and resulted in the generation of heat. This is the same thing with our potential. When potential is brought to a point of focus it results in greater output and results. Activity is not necessarily productivity. It’s what you focus on that brings about your greatest productivity. Much has been said about the Pareto Principle, which I believe to be true. According to Pareto, 80% of your productivity will come from 20% of your activity (paraphrased). Here’s the key to generating lasting results: find the 20% of what you are most effective at and give it 80% of your time and resources.     

Personal growth is a process, not an instant event. It takes place over the course of many days, weeks, months and years. You cannot “microwave” yourself into a self-actualized human being or a philosophical guru. You cannot “fast forward” through the painful stages of growth in life. You have to go through the “slow cooker” in order to develop into your full capabilities.We derail our growth when we think that we can hasten the process. This is evidenced in the many people who are looking for just one thing that will change their lives. There is no “secret” to the process. You can’t just watch a “secret” DVD and change your life. There’s more to it than just that. There’s massive action that must take place behind the scenes. It has to be a quiet, slow process, not a fast, noisy activity. Choose to make your development a slow process and you will be astounded by the results you get.

Many years ago, a mentor told me that “motion causes friction.” The truth is that friction takes place everwhere - it occurs inside our organizations, it occurs between different organizations, it occurs on sports teams, it occurs in the family, it occurs in organizations, it occurs between countries and many other areas of life. At one point or another, we will all encounter friction in life. Friction between human systems is defined as conflict. Understanding how to manage conflict is therefore essential.

There are five approaches that can be utilized in the management of conflict:

1. Accomodating - This is where one group places emphasis on the needs of the other group while minimizing it’s own concerns. In essence, one group allows the other to win - a win-lose situation. While it may seem as if the group is giving in, it might be a beneficial approach when the other group has a huge stake in the matter at hand.

2. Dominating - This is when one group focuses completely on it’s own cares and concerns and closes the door to the other group. The dominating group “forces” it’s power and resolutions on the other group. This again is a win-lose situation.The group with the higher balance of power wins over the other group.

3. Avoiding - It’s unfortunate that this happens but there are times when one group may avoid another. This may not be the best strategy but it sometimes helps to cool the situation so that the time may be used to gather additional information.

4. Compromising - When two groups compromise, none of them emerges as a winner. There must be some giving up of value in order for compromising to be effective. Compromise can lead to more conflict later because teh groups might still harbour a feeling that their needs were never met.

5. Collaboration - When groups collaborate, both of them come out of the conflict situation as winners. Collaboration is solution-centered thinking. By working together to solve the conflict the two groups demonstrate immense respect for each other.