Personal Growth Is A Process

Personal growth is a process, not an instant event. It takes place over the course of many days, weeks, months and years. You cannot “microwave” yourself into a self-actualized human being or a philosophical guru. You cannot “fast forward” through the painful stages of growth in life. You have to go through the “slow cooker” in order to develop into your full capabilities.We derail our growth when we think that we can hasten the process. This is evidenced in the many people who are looking for just one thing that will change their lives. There is no “secret” to the process. You can’t just watch a “secret” DVD and change your life. There’s more to it than just that. There’s massive action that must take place behind the scenes. It has to be a quiet, slow process, not a fast, noisy activity. Choose to make your development a slow process and you will be astounded by the results you get.

How to Manage Friction

Many years ago, a mentor told me that “motion causes friction.” The truth is that friction takes place everwhere – it occurs inside our organizations, it occurs between different organizations, it occurs on sports teams, it occurs in the family, it occurs in organizations, it occurs between countries and many other areas of life. At one point or another, we will all encounter friction in life. Friction between human systems is defined as conflict. Understanding how to manage conflict is therefore essential.

There are five approaches that can be utilized in the management of conflict:

1. Accomodating – This is where one group places emphasis on the needs of the other group while minimizing it’s own concerns. In essence, one group allows the other to win – a win-lose situation. While it may seem as if the group is giving in, it might be a beneficial approach when the other group has a huge stake in the matter at hand.

2. Dominating – This is when one group focuses completely on it’s own cares and concerns and closes the door to the other group. The dominating group “forces” it’s power and resolutions on the other group. This again is a win-lose situation.The group with the higher balance of power wins over the other group.

3. Avoiding – It’s unfortunate that this happens but there are times when one group may avoid another. This may not be the best strategy but it sometimes helps to cool the situation so that the time may be used to gather additional information.

4. Compromising – When two groups compromise, none of them emerges as a winner. There must be some giving up of value in order for compromising to be effective. Compromise can lead to more conflict later because teh groups might still harbour a feeling that their needs were never met.

5. Collaboration – When groups collaborate, both of them come out of the conflict situation as winners. Collaboration is solution-centered thinking. By working together to solve the conflict the two groups demonstrate immense respect for each other.

Creating Opportunities for Personal Growth

Life is all about growth. Every day we are faced with situations and circumstances that provide us with two choices – grow or go! Having a menatlity of growth is the first step towards being able to maximize your life and live above the level of mediocrity that plagues most of society. If you don’t grow, you will go! No question about that. I call this “Life’s two constant choices”. What choice will you make today? Will you make every circumstance that comes your way an opportunity for personal growth or will you shrink away from growth and give in to mediocrity? Life’s two constant choices are right before you today. Make the better choice – a choice for better life! 

Three Keys to Massive Productivity

The key to continued success in life is massive productivity. I would like to borrow some lessons from ball players and illustrate how we can be massively productive. Here are three keys to massive productivity that hopefully will elevate your results in life:

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

Your performance is very much dependent on what happens behind the scenes. Ball players don’t just walk off the streets and deliver a great performance. It takes years of practice to get to that level of playing. Same thing with you. In order to be an MP (Massive Producer), you have to act massively behind the scenes. It’s your behind the scenes work that brings you from obscurity and into the limelight.

2. Take immediate control of your mental state

The winner’s edge is in his mental attitude. You must approach every situation with a readiness to tackle it and win. You can’t shy away from displaying your skill when your moment of action comes. The moment a player steps onto the court, he is focused and ready to do battle. You can’t allow your mind to wander in hundreds of different directions. You’ve got to harness it. 

3. Discover the power of team

No matter how good a player is, he cannot play alone against a team of five and expect to win. You’ve got to find those people who will elevate your performance. Teamwork makes the dream work. What’s your dream? Are you connected to people that can elevate your game? Discover the power of team and you will multiply your value. You can’t do it by yourself. The days of the lone ranger are over.

Embracing Slowness and Subtracting Noise

We live in a world that is increasingly becoming faster and faster and noisier and noisier. This is evidenced in many areas of life ranging from business to family and social events. Business is now being conducted “at the speed of thought”. Politicians are becoming noisier and noisier in their clamor for air-time. People are striving to out-smart and out-think one another. Basically, there have been many voices calling for faster processes, faster thinking, faster living and faster everything.

This quest for faster and faster and louder and louder has in many ways ended up hurting society. Stress levels have increased and a lot of damage has been done to people, organizations and institutions in society. We have a saying back home that ”we operate on African time”. In America people say that time is money. These two sayings depict two different paradigms on the idea of time. There are advantages and disadvantages to both paradigms but I believe there is a lot that the West can learn from “African time” in terms of time management and slowing down the pace of life. I am in the process of writing down some thoughts, but of course I’m working on “African time”. 

Perhaps there is a kind of life that embraces the slow and subtracts from the noise. If we are going to be achieve lives of significance and purpose, we will have to slow down and shut out most of the noise from today’s society. Life is designed to be a journey that is enjoyable but we have made it an excruciatingly painful experience. Modernization, with it’s many advantages, also has demerits. Gone are the days when life was an interaction with nature. Today life is an interaction with machines and gadgets. Let us go back to a slower and quieter way of life.